When Jackson Comes to Town

When Jackson comes to town, we have lots of time to bond.

We take pictures in the car

We go exploring in the woods.

We ride bikes in the park.

We do many other things, like laser tag, and putt putt golf and going out to dinner, but he wouldn't let me take pictures of these activities because it might damper his cool factor.
Where would I be without a younger brother to keep me in line?

Faithful

Had coffee with the ASC chaplain, Louisa, Wednesday night.
And I made a few conclusions.
Sometimes, I do feel unsatisfied with life. Oftentimes I think a guy will make it better. Possibly losing weight. Making better grades?
Silly me, I think there's a more reasonable explanation for this:

If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world."
-C.S. Lewis

Tonight I shared this with Bailey. She suggested that someone take the knives out of my kitchen...A-hahahahahahahaha!

No I'm not suicidal. I'm not remotely depressed. Heck, I'm not even unhappy! It's just that I realize the reason I struggle with finding satisfaction here on earth must be due to the fact that nothing measures up to the eternal treasure I have in heaven.
Louisa reminded me that though this is so true, we are called to be disciples; that we must show others the joy we have in Jesus Christ. Amen to that sister! So though I may never find perfect happiness in things of this world, I find contentment in the hope He gives on the cross. As my favorite artist in the whole world sings,

When I can't feel you, I have learned to reach out just the same,
When I can't hear you, I know you still hear every word I pray,
And I want you more than I want to live another day,
And as I wait for you, maybe I'd be more made more faithful.
-Brooke Fraser

Sweet Revelation.

Not a New Year's Resolution

I don't believe in New Year's Resolutions. Few people ever keep them, and I've accepted the fact that I'm not one that does. Yesterday however, was officially my second day of Spring '09 classes, and I found myself sitting in the Student Rec Center making a list. A list of goals I've made for myself, that will hopefully improve my overall quality of life and well being. This post serves as a written contract of sorts. Few people read this blog, but I hope those that do will ask me at the end of the semester how I did at reaching and maintaining these goals. They are as follows:

• Go to bed by 11:00(ish) p.m.
• Wake up between 6:30 and 7:00 a.m.
• Spend time in the word every morning; read My Utmost for His Highest daily
• Study/Review every Monday,Wednesday, and Friday morning before class
• To actively seek and find God in every class I take; yes even in my Biology Lab and History of Western Dress
• Train for a Century Bike Ride for this summer or late spring (Maybe the MS 150 in April?...depends on school) by:
• Taking a twice a week indoor cycling class
• Riding my bike to campus every week day
• Going on long distance rides on weekends
• Practice being a better friend, sister, daughter
• Save money by not eating out so much and not purchasing random things on a whim
• Seek prayer needs of others, rather than always praying for myself

These are just some practical, tangible things I'd like achieve. There are also many personal things I'd like to see happen in my life, but I know all things come in His perfect timing. I can't wait to see what my God has in store!

D-Now: Not Your Average Sleepover

The most highly anticipated weekend of many students and adults of First Baptist Church in Conroe has finally arrived. Hallways and classrooms will be filled with the buzz of excitement and discussion of who's going to stay up the latest, cheer the loudest, and be staying at the coolest house. College students are filled with excitement and nerves; mixed emotions of wanting to spread God's word, and be cool to a bunch of adolescents. In the midst of this huge slumber party city wide, God has a purpose for every individual participating, whether they know it or not.

Disciple Now 2009.

I've been praying for my seventh grade girls, knowing only one or two by name, for months and mulling over the bible study lessons for weeks, trying to find ways to make it applicable and meaningful to girls so young in their faith. Then last night, it hit me; an exciting new thought, so simple and encouraging. Yes, I know little about this group of girls, but God created their inmost being, He knit them in their mothers womb. Each one is a precious masterpiece, fearfully and wonderfully made in His image, and He's entrusting me to reveal His grace to them. He loves them each just as much as He loves me, I want these girls to know this and experience this in its fullest. No matter how inadequate I feel to lead a group of junior high girls, our God is going to do amazing things this weekend. He has a way of doing that, ya know?

D-Now 2008 Mega Relay with 9th Grade Girls

A White Funeral

When Jackson was baptized a few years ago, one word from the whole day stuck out in my mind. Our youth minister waded next to my little brother in the baptistry and in front of the congregation had typo of the mouth. He raised his hand, and said, "Jackson, as my brother in Christ, I now bury you...wait...bury you? Haha my bad...I now BAPTIZE you in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit."

Bury.

When I think of a burial, words like death, mourning, and dirt come to mind, not a pretty "Jesus Picture..."

But Oswald Chambers says,

No one experiences complete sanctification without going through a "white funeral"-the burial of the old life. If there has never been this crucial moment of change through death, sanctification will never be more than an elusive dream. There must be a "white funeral," a death with only one resurrection-a resurrection into the life of Jesus Christ. Nothing can defeat a life like this. It has oneness with God for only one purpose— to be a witness for Him.

Now I firmly believe that God wants so much more from us than a fifteen minute devotional in the morning before work. We can't possible know who God is by just spending a few minutes with Him everyday. It's an all day, hand in hand walk He desires. Nonetheless, I've been reading My Utmost for His Highest, and have noticed newly inspired thoughts and attitudes towards who God is and who I am in Him. This fifteen minutes spurs me on to constantly think and pursue my best to the Most High.

Chambers asks in this particular sermon if we've been to our own "white funeral." After much thought, I must mumble with my head down low, "No." There have been many moments of surrendering something over to God; a worry or concern, an unhealthy relationship, a materialistic distraction here and there, but not a complete and absolute death to Jessie.

"You must agree with God to stop being the intensely striving kind of Christian you have been."

Yep, that's me; constantly striving to please God, knowing full well His grace enough. I long to bring glory to His kingdom but fail so miserably because the earthly obsessions of the still alive and kicking Jessie get in the way. If I truly die to myself to be resurrected with Christ, the struggle to be sanctified by own doing will end. So my prayer is this, that I may soon come to the last of my days and sanctification be more than an elusive dream.

So Long, Dear Friend

Today, I pay homage to a faithful friend.
Last night, at approximately 6:30 pm, my cell phone fell into the washing machine and drowned. Despite my frantic efforts to revive by blow dryer the pink Razr, she could only manage to a few final vibrates and light flickers.

Wow. The sad thing is, I really do feel like I lost a friend. Never did I realize how much I depended on that little phone. She even slept with me! (An embarrassing fact to admit, but she was my alarm okay!) Once the reality set in that she was gone forever, I drove to the AT&T store to buy a new phone. After playing with the settings for a couple of hours I got in bed, set my alarm on this new, LG Shine, and felt as if a stranger was under my pillow. Goodness how I've humanized an inanimate object.

So goodbye, dear friend. Thanks for connecting me to friends and family for almost two years, I will truly miss thee.

National Thank God it's Monday Day

An ode to Mondays:

I'm swiveling in my office chair,
running fingers through my hair.
This morning I was late to class,
and my free time went by way too fast.
My boss just walked in from her smoke break,
and the smell on her clothes gives me a headache.
I look outside and see the sun shining,
and I wish I could feel it; my heart is pining.
Wishing the clock would turn to five,
So I may enjoy nature and live and thrive.
But for now I sit in this office of gray,
Oh how I wish it weren't a Monday.

Written by me on September 29, 2009