Musings of a Friend

Last week Lacey and I got lunch in celebration of my belated birthday. We have our own little place, Pie in the Sky, where we make a point to visit and reminisce over each passing semester. She handed me my present as we left (we're both awkward present openers so we agreed a long time ago to unwrap them in private and say thanks later) and I drove away anxiously waiting for the first stop light that would give me enough time to open it. The frame she made was precious along with a big letter J to hang on my door, but what was most special was the card that fell out as I tore through the tissue paper. Her thoughts were so synchronous with mine, beautifully and eloquently written:

"Another year of cake and presents, marking the turning of seasons in your life. We're leaving the strange half childhood of our in between years behind to rush headlong into the frightening excitement of adulthood. At fifteen we could guess we'd be in college at twenty, but what about twenty five? It's a brilliant horrifying mystery and the most exciting years of our lives. Give yourself permission to stop worrying about the future and just trust. Stop waiting for life to start and embrace the here and now because it will fade like here and now. Let our faithful Father guide you through this next year of wonderful unknown and know whether you're twenty, twenty five, or fifty five, I'll always be your lifelong, moody, loving best friend."

So my hope for the next twenty years is to see through eyes of faith; that each day I awake with renewed perspective and wonder in my Creator. To live each day completely dependent on Him and protected by His perfect love seems so romantic. Yes, God will do amazing things these next twenty years, I trust Him, here, now, and forever.

Me, our friend Jaclyn, and Lacey hanging out before we moved away to college. Just thinking of how much we've changed since we took this picture makes me excited to think of what changes God has in store.

No Longer a Teenager

Tomorrow I turn 20.

Two days after Christmas... my parents suck.

Okay okay not really. When I was little, my mom worked so hard to make my birthday special. I'd have a slumber party the Friday school got out for the winter break. After a day of classroom Christmas festivities and fun, everyone would gather at my house for caroling or scavenger hunts and games; it was icing on the cake! (Pun intended.) But as I got older, things changed; instead having a party, I went to swim practice before my grandma cooked a simple special dinner. And now that I'm in college, my friends are in other cities all over Texas. This isn't supposed to be a "woe is me" post, but a general note of acceptance of the way things are.

My birthday is now a quiet celebration with my family. Because it falls on a holiday, I'll always be near the ones I love the most during this time. I read a quote by Thomas Jefferson once, that at the time just made me giggle (it said bosom and I couldn't get past this metaphor,) but now, living on my own away from home, I find it so true:

"The happiest moments of my life have been the few which I have passed at home in the bosom of my family. "

Tomorrow I turn 20, and I'm thankful to spend the day with my family, whom I love, and with my parents, who don't really suck.

So I've Been a Bit Busy

It hasn't been that long since my last blog, but I didn't realize how I easily I could jam pack my holiday with lunch dates, coffee talk, working, helping out at the church, bible studies, Houston trips, and not to mention a random midnight gathering at a Waffle House. Gotta keep it classy you know. One excursion, however, seemed worth describing in more detail.

I've never braved Houston traffic without my parents before, so this was a milestone.

Jaclyn, Jill and I met up with some friends to see the Bethany Dillon and Shane and Shane concert this weekend and it was awesome. I love when humor is mixed with purpose. Gosh, it was a great evening.

The Chosen One of Israel
The One foretold
He came
We all like sheep have gone astray
We turn to our own way
But still, He came

Jax

Somewhere under my bed lies a scrapbook I made in the seventh grade with a page titled,

" Jackson, Who's Your Best Friend?
'You are, Jessie.' "

I'm not naive enough to think that my little brother, now thirteen years old, still thinks I'm his best friend. As any tweenage boy, he's into sports, music, his buddies and ugh, girls. But I love this kid so much. Every time I come home to visit, I'm shocked by how funny and clever (and sometimes perverted) he's become. Regardless of how we embarrass and frustrate each other, I'll always think he's the coolest kid in the world. So here's to you Jackson, thanks for your endless supply of Texas Longhorn trivia information, your Family Guy and Austin Powers references, and your willingness to put up with my silly creative endeavors.

Love,
Jessie
Our attempt to mimic those goofy Sonic commercials. We had fun and that's all that matters.

Something Pondered

It is late and I am tired.

The Christmas holiday has officially begun now that I'm back in good ol' Conroe, but one thought keeps replaying in my mind. No, I'm not thinking about how happy I am to be home or of all the things I want to accomplish now that the burden of studying has been temporarily lifted. Amidst the chaos of a joyful homecoming, my single thought has been this:

"Am I a neat Christian girl, or a Godly woman?"

Perhaps there isn't a yes or no answer to this. Maybe it's a process. Either way, I know which one I want to be for God's glory alone.

Oh What A Beautiful Day!

Snapped these today in Brenham. We were getting ready for the office Christmas party and I had to slip away for a moment to capture this amazing sunset. Lovely.

Love + Duty = Grace?

I promise I'm not trying to follow a theme. But last night after work, i was channel surfing, hoping desperately to find a good movie and stumbled across a beautiful film called The Painted Veil. Naomi Watts is an adulteress wife named Kitty and as punishment, her husband, Walter, played by Edward Norton, drags her with him into the middle of a cholera epidemic in Asia during the roaring twenties. In the midst of death, their contempt for one another grows into passionate love until (spoiler alert) he dies of cholera at the end.

I was so mad I wanted to throw my cell phone at the tv.

But then I started thinking, the movie had to end that way. Kitty befriends a nun who takes notice of the blossoming relationship between the husband and wife. Kitty denies this love and says its her mere duty to accompany her husband to Asia, and the nun compares the two of them to her relationship with God.

"Remember that it is nothing to do your duty, that is demanded of you and is no more meritorious than to wash your hands when they are dirty; the only thing that counts is the love of duty; when love and duty are one, then grace is in you and you will enjoy a happiness which passes all understanding. "

The nun fell passionately in love with God at the age of seventeen only to share the same indifference toward Him as an old married woman sitting silently with her husband across the room with nothing to say. I think that would've happened to the two characters had Walter lived. Kitty loved parties, dancing, and tennis. He enjoyed science, museums and bridge. The cholera epidemic gave them a common purpose, but eventually they'd leave Asia only to return to there differences. The love would fade and only duty would remain.


I hope that never happens to me.

To spend a lifetime with someone for duty alone would be a great disappointment. To spend eternity without grace would be devasting. And relationships must have more than the elements of love and duty; there's no formula or equation to having grace within us. It's a gift to be cherished for all our lives. If we truly treasure grace, I don't see how love could ever become like washing our hands.

...right?