A Note of Thanks

I'd hoped my next post after "What am I Thinking?!" would be titled, "What WAS I Thinking?!" However I woke up this morning with a fever and couldn't even manage to get myself out of the apartment. I've never felt so alone and insecure than today. Considering I never got sick my freshman year of college, this was the first time I didn't have my mom or dad or anyone for that matter take care of me while I was sick. No one to rub my back, no one to put a cold a cold rag on my forehead, no one to cover me with a warm blanket. It totally sucked, though I guess it's just part of growing up.

I am filled with a sense of gratitude for a certain group of fictional individuals who kept me company today and would like to recognize them.

Thank you Sydney Bristow for being totally awesome and kicking butt in every mission you are assigned. Thank you for always doing what you feel is right, never making moral compromises for your own selfish ambitions.

Thank you Michael Vaughn for being strikingly handsome and the good guy I rooted for all day.

Thank you Jack Bristow for being the dad who always looks out for Sydney and does whatever it takes to protect her.

Thank you Marshall Flinkman and Eric Weiss for your perfect comedic relief.

And thank you Arvin Sloane and Julian Sark for being the perfect villains.

Today, in my inability to focus my eyes long enough on my books to study or get outside and enjoy the weather, Alias Season 3 kept me occupied. And though I hate that nothing, I mean nothing, got accomplished, I am extremely grateful that Lacey bought the entire dvd collection, because it was the only thing that kept me sane during my period of lethargy.
I won't being going on my bike ride tomorrow, but I'd like to think that I had lots of little adventures with the good guys of the CIA as they tried to save the world from the evil grasp of the Covenant.

Eh, there will be other rides.

What Am I Thinking?!

On Sunday I will bodly go where I have never gone before.
And let me tell you, it's gonna hurt.
My mom is in charge of the Conroe High School Golden Girl fund raising event called the Gold Rush. Yes it is a legit bike race. Cycling teams from all over the Houston area sign up and pedal down the scenic roads of Montgomery Texas.

And I'll be there with bells on. All forty seven miles.

I've been praying, eating right, and riding my bike all over College Station to prepare.
Today I'm going to Academy to buy some padded bike shorts and anything else I think will help get me through this adventure.

Seriously, I can't wait!

Just Like This.

Lacey, Blair, and I had the opportunity to lead a Disciple Now in a small town called Old Ocean, Texas. The questions were raised throughout the weekend as to who we are without God, and who we are with Him. Simply put, we are blessed to be a portrait of His perfect, redeeming love, completely free from the chains of who were before we were His.

Ouch!

I'm twenty years old and just experienced my first bike wreck.

It was a beautiful afternoon and I was pedaling home from a long day on campus. There was construction down the main road so all pedestrians and cyclers were confined to travel down the one side walk. I saw her coming many yards ahead. She was clearly struggling with the incline of the road, swaying a bit with each pedal. As the girl on her bike got closer, I noticed was she wasn't edging over at all to give both of us room to pass; one could say we played a little game of bike chicken. In the end, I lost and swerved into a groove in the dirt, my wheel kicked the edge of the sidewalk, flew out from under me, and BAM!

I found myself sprawled out on the cement.

The girl didn't even stop to see if I was okay.

So there I sat. With scraped hands and a bleeding knee I almost allowed self pity to win victory over my spirit. Then a familiar, friendly voice spoke in my head:

"Why do we fall, Master Bruce? So that we might learn to pick ourselves
up."

Thank you Batman Begins for providing me with the wise British voice of Alfred the butler. Because of his always good advice, I glanced at my stranded pink bike, picked myself up and grabbed hold of the handle bars, hopped up on the seat, and rode home.

I didn't even cry. Go me!

P.S. Sorry if my picture grosses you out, just felt like I should document this little milestone.

Good Morning Sunshine

In the midst of my excitement (see the post below,) I also woke up two hours earlier than I intended, rather than trying to force myself back to sleep, I got out of bed, ready to start my day.
The sunrise followed my car to Blue Baker where I fully intended on enjoying a cup of coffee while reading for my Political Science class. Instead, I blogged and took a certain picture I'd been aching to capture for quite a while.

Oops.

I'M TOO EXCITED TO SLEEP!!!

Visions of sugar plums never danced in my head. As kid, I was way too excited to enter dreamland on Christmas Eve. My excited anticipation kept me from sleep for many many years while I waited for Santa to arrive. The night before our trip to Disney World, sleep never touched my eyes. Instead, I laid in bed, day dreaming at night of how wonderful the week would be. My parents often wouldn't tell me about planned events in the hope that I'd sleep through the night, knowing full well of my night time charades. Vividly I remember waking up to Jill's four year old giggles as she exclaimed, "Jessie! We're going to Astroworld today!!!!" For the life of me I couldn't understand why my parents kept this information a secret, but it was an awesome surprise and I'd actually slept the whole night through.

Last night I felt like like the same six year old girl, staring wide eyed at the ceiling in excitement.

But this time there was no logical, specific reason for my restlessness. There, under the covers, beneath the soft whirl of my fan, I concluded, "Holy Spirit, this must be you stirring inside of me!" It was a beautiful revelation, never have I felt so content in the Lord. No need for tossing or turning, I just laid still in the presence of my Father, completely thrilled at His perfect plan for my life. Hopes for my future that I'd been clinging to for so long, just seemed to effortlessly pass from my hands to his. Repeating through my mind were the words of Job, "Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked will I depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised." No matter what He has in store for me, good or bad, I thought to myself how blessed I will be for eternity under the care and protection of Jesus Christ. The life I've been making so complicated, simplified instantly at this new perspective. He didn't need some life altering, climatic moment to change my heart. He simply moved.

Softly I whispered, "Lord, I surrender it all to you."

A smile remained on my face as I slowly fell asleep, my Father watching tenderly from Heaven.

Walking in Freedom

Today as the sun peaked through my window, I woke up with a new, consuming thought. Through my gross sticky, morning breath I mumbled this prayer:

"Lord, let me

walk

in

Your

freedom.

Let me share Your truth and Your love with others in complete freedom, unhindered by what the world tells me I want or what I must achieve. My heart hurts, Lord, because your heart hurts for the trap so many of us have fallen into. Daily I hold on to earthly hopes, jealousy, bitterness, impatience, and ask 'Why God? Why?' But I hear your response:
'Look to me, and let go.' Not the answer I was expecting.
But okay.
Love = obedience.

So I will let go

and

walk

in

Your

freedom.

Amen. Amen. Amen."